Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Thanksgiving Parrot

John was given a parrot that could talk.  At first he was very excited to have received such a gift until learning to his dismay that the parrot had a bad attitude and a vocabulary that would make even a drunken sailor blush.       

Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with unbridled profanity. John tried and tried for several days to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's harsh, bitter and disrespectful vocabulary.     

Finally, John got fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.  John then reached out and shook it for a second but the parrot got even angrier and ruder. In total desperation, John threw up both hands, then grabbed the bird around his neck and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot continued to squawk, kick and scream shameless insults.  Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard from the bird for over a minute.      

Fearing that he may have hurt the parrot, John rushed over and opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly jumped out onto one of John's outstretched arms and said "Sir, I fully realize now that I may have offended you with my inexcusable lewd ignominious language and disgraceful actions. I'm sincerely remorseful and totally humiliated for such inappropriate transgressions and hope you will believe that from now own I fully intend to do everything I possibly can to correct and repent for my scandalously rude and unforgivable behavior. I humbly ask for your forgiveness."     

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.      

Then as he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird rolled his eyes to look up and said very softly, "May I ask you what the turkey did?"         


No comments: