Saturday, March 31, 2012

Men & Women & Reunions

I picked up this piece somewhere online and found it amusing.  It was written by someone much younger than us, so I cleaned the language up a little.  Perhaps you will enjoy it as I did.

“As we get older, men realize that women are always changing (their minds, their outfits, their stance on fooling around, etc).  Before this happens though, we think the girls are the most confusing puzzles in the world.  I’ve always thought that if I was a kid and knew half of what I know now, I would have made a serious killing with the ladies.  Same thing goes for this: if I’d had this categorization of girls when I was a kid, I would have fathered at least five accidental children by now.  Check out our list of stereotypical high school girls below.

The Hottest Girl in SchoolThis girl was hot, and I mean smoking hot.  Sure, you are a little older and realize looks aren’t everything (but she's still at least a '7.5' though).  As you go up to talk to her at that welcome back party your buddy has over the summer, that nerdy kid who used to do the announcements comes up with two drinks.  "Thanks, babe," she replies.

Yes, the world can be a cruel place.

The SleeperRemember that girl who you went to high school with?  Of course not!  You never had a class together, she wasn’t the best looking, and despised the people who smoked pot, so you were overlooked by her.

But now years later, you've reconnected… She’s actually pretty cool!  And you stand a good chance because she doesn't actually know you that well.

The Ex-GirlfriendYour ex was super hot in high school.  Well, at least you thought so.  But now that college and the freshman fifteen have entered the game, you begin to doubt your original opinions.  Sure, it might seem like she's gaining a pound every time you check her Facebook.  In reality, that's just her stock getting older and generally depreciating in value.  Thanks, societal norms!

The Old Fling.  You log onto Facebook, and your old fling seems to have found and added you.  The last time you saw her was freshman year of high school, hell, maybe even 8th grade.  She has a kid now?  What the f***?!?!?!  Boy time flies when you don’t check up on people.

Your Best Friend.  She was always there for you in High School  Oh yeah, she also really, really wanted to get you in the sack.  You threw her into the friend zone because... Actually, you can't remember why.

Now that nobody's sleeping with you, even she turns you down.  Life is tough. Just keep being nice and maybe she'll come around.

The Nerdy, Quiet One.  You know that company you want an internship with?  Well, that nerdy quiet girl you ignored your whole life just now happens to be the person interviewing you.

How did she get so good at promotions and social media?  She was never even at a single one of your parties.

The Overlooked One.  This girl went under the radar.  You (kinda) know who I'm talking about: sort of friends in high school, but that’s about it.  Friendly hellos in the hallway if you caught awkward eyes ever.

Never in a million years would you have thought that she would have been so gorgeous.  Maybe you should call her, and set up lunch or something.  Oh wait, no.  It's too late.

The One Who Didn't Like Boys.  It took you all those years to figure it out?”