Thursday, March 03, 2011


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing, usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying...Go to blue blazes.

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.


Anonymous said...

Gus, there are other patterns...we could do a book, but we might not get the details down before there is an offense.

Though I notice several signals 'a woman' gives me when the legs are crossed, and that elevated foot does a circular pattern. A slight whirl, or doodle around. Often meaning her ears a closed and she does not believe a word I am saying. Of course other whirl and doodle patters with that lofted foot have been discovered to have other meanings. None real bliss.

That #3 (nothing), I find also has many meanings. It seems much is in the inference/expressions/microexpression...minuscule varriance, or is it how I asked the question of, "Is something wrong, did I do something wrong?" To which I get "Nothing. Nothing is wrong." Sometimes nothing means 'you are getting warm'; Sometimes nothing means you better not stop looking until you 'find out'; at times nothing means 'drop it'. Up until 20 years ago I would have just gone to ride my dirt bikes until I made a selection. Laughing.

I am most fortunate for the one wife I have had all these years. She is great to me and will do more nice things for me than I come close to deseving. Really! If I wanted a meal from the other side of Dallas, I would not have to ask...she would want to go get it for me...I would have to call her off the idea. I am a lucky guy for how good she is to me.

I would like to say I am so good to her, that I merit the loyalty, but I am affraid I am just an old guy.

Gus said...

You're right on target with those additional observations. The comedian, Gallagher, adds in the loud banging of pans in the kitchen to the word, NOTHING, as an additional sign that a squall is building.

Anonymous said...

Remember the scene in "Pretty Woman" "A**hole, there's a word."

Maybe it's not used in all households, but it I have heard it now and then in mine.