Little overdue with my periodic commemoration of life…my second one. Wife saved my life almost 5-years ago and after the last go around with the doc and his vampire, he just said, “keep up the good work, see you next year.”
So, thoughts drifted back to the beginning, long time ago. An extended bachelorhood established certain
benchmarks….a 4-roll pack of toilet paper lasts a week or two in a bachelor’s
apartment. Add a woman, and that 4-pack
is shot in a day or so.
“Honey, we need some more toilet paper.”
“Didn’t I just buy some yesterday?”
“Honey, we need some more toilet paper.” So, I buy two 4-packs.
Couple of days later, “Honey, we need some more toilet
paper.”
“Didn’t I just, ah…oh, never mind.” So, I buy six 4-packs and stack them in the
front foyer…a small pyramid of toilet paper.
My gesture doesn’t go over well.
Adding wife to my comfortably predictable home life all
those years ago introduced a number of new concepts I had never before considered.
We quickly became major consumers of Kimberly-Clark,
Georgia-Pacific
and Weyerhaeuser forest products….Bounty Towels and Kleenex etc. Bounty, the best picker-upper…she uses each
towel once to wipe up a couple of stray drops then, tosses it.
“You can use those good ones more than once,” I suggest…..no
response.
“If you’re intent on using each towel but once, why don’t we
buy the El Cheapo towels, instead?”
“Germs,” she sniffs.
Cases of Kleenex….a bachelor just uses the toilet paper…an
elegant dual use concept.
No response.
“Look at that lady over there. She’s getting her own stock of Bounty in ahead of the storm.”
No response...
Well, at least we've figured out how to reduce the trips to the store for this kind of stuff to about every other week rather than every other day all those years ago.
Well, at least we've figured out how to reduce the trips to the store for this kind of stuff to about every other week rather than every other day all those years ago.
...and the beat goes on...